Lobotomy

Finally getting around to those envelopes.

I have 67 addressed and 21 without addresses.

Who knows how many more we will add once we get the list of the Stier side of the family.

I'll tell you, they are great pro-creators. ;)

I am trying to figure out what I need to do next.

I have my first dress fitting on the 28th I believe.

I am behind on my deposits. I couldn't figure out why I didn't have the money until I looked at my bill pay. I brilliantly paid my credit card bill two weeks earlier than the due date. I suppose this means I will have more to work with later, but it still frustrates me a little. I tend to sabotage myself with trying to pay my bills early. Oh well.

Since we have registered, I have been dreaming about what our apartment will look like. We need to go apartment hunting once more. It is so exciting to dream about what we will do with it. I especially enjoy the idea of a kitchen to ourselves. Holy goodness, we can create some amazing meals in there.

It is pretty much 5am currently. Why am I wide awake? I am totally a night owl. As much as I appreciate a quiet, cool morning, I am can only as good as a zombie without coffee. I will even bite your head off if you wake me from my slumber. I feel so much more productive in the darkness. I want to call people and make appointments, if only they wouldn't hate me for doing so. I guess I will just sit here and write return addresses on the envelopes and get them ready to send out.

Planning a wedding means looking into your options. Sometimes options just irritate me. Example: Spider and I went to the Wedding Shoppe on Grand to try on bridesmaids dresses. While waiting, which already felt like we were waiting for a prime seat at a fancy restaurant, we took a look around. We glanced at some unity candle sets. Ivory candles with a gold ribbon tied around one of them was $60. Why do people give into this? It isn't going to be any more amazing because it's $60. I would only buy them if it filled the air with glitter and Etta James magically sang At Last. Seriously, why is this even an option?

It hasn't been too hard being modest with expenses. Handmade things take time but they can save so much money. Our save the dates are magnetic business cards and only cost $36 for everything except for the postage. It wasn't the cheapest thing in the world but it's definitely cheaper considering most save the dates are $1.25 per card. Speaking of handmade items, I have developed an amazing plan for the favors. It's a secret though.

I have so many things to do, so many questions to ask, but alas we only have 107 days to get it straight. Where has the time gone?

I appreciate your devotion to read through all of my ridiculous rambles.

I hope the Ramones music makes up for it.

Punk Rocker

I think you may just have to listen to Anxiety by the Ramones for every single post until the wedding.

I am excited for the wedding, don't get me wrong, but there are some things I would rather not complete. It feels like I am back in high school. I have a bunch of addresses I need to input on the mighty guest list at the knot(dot)com as well as write out on envelopes. I have been avoiding it like crazy.

By completing these things, I will see just how many guests we could potentially have. My biggest fear for this wedding is that too many people will show up. We have a max capacity at the venue of 140 guests for the ceremony and 200 for the reception. 130-140 is ideal though, being that it isn't the largest venue in the world. What if we have too many guests? What are we going to do? We can't tell them, "sorry but I'm sure you will find other weddings to go to." This is the one thing I do not have complete control over.

So as I tell myself, I do not have time to do this now, I am really just hiding from the reality of the subject at hand. Why can't I be more brave? I wish I could be one of those kick-ass girls who will tackle anything and get it done, just to get it done. In reality I am the shy girl who is shuffling closer to it, but most times needs her friends to make her "bump into" the issue to really face it. Even by blogging about it, I am procrastinating. Ironic isn't it?

Tonight I am going to buck up and get the courage to get something done. I need to pick up the actual save the dates from my parents place and before I can send them off I need to get a total guest count and a total envelope count. I also need money for stamps but that is doable. So tonight we rock the envelopes. Maybe I just need a little musical accompaniment. I'm thinking the Soviettes are you?

So I looked at hotels in the area. The closest one to the venue is a Holiday Inn. They don't seem like the most reliable of places. They don't block rooms for wedding groups. They just give a discounted rate to guests who say they are attending the wedding. The "discounted" rate is $120 a night for a single King bed and $130 for two queens. And not to mention that they cannot guarantee you a room as it is based on overall room availability. It just sounds weird how uncommitted they are to making this a stress free issue. It's a reasonable hotel but having you kids pay that much per night (and that's the discount rate) is another concern. Just doesn't seem right, but I will look into more options.

They are just your boring hotel rooms.

My mind wants a break from the wedding. I find myself in the kitchen with some contempt for that little purple box of cookies purchased from innocent sweet talking girls.. You know what I am talking about. Those vanilla cookies with a caramel coat, thrown around in some coconut, and sweet chocolate drizzle. Pretty sure that those little bit...bites of heaven are plotting some corruption. I want to get a little radical and punk rock on those cookies. I need to make a vegan batch for myself. I have been plotting my attack for awhile. I lay in bed and contemplate what sort of cookie I should use to match the texture and flavor of the original. I need a vegan caramel recipe that doesn't taste like butts. There is a secret to their chocolate I believe. I remember it being sweeter but darker than milk chocolate. Online recipes for this just won't do. We need something original. I just want to bake, create a batch of deliriously delicious cookies.

If it was about having cookies, I would just go to the co-op and buy some. This isn't the case. There is something so therapeutic about spending time in the kitchen, putting just the right amount of flour and baking soda in, having a risk of getting your hands and hair a mess, and once you create you can fill peoples hearts and stomachs with it. There is order but still risk for absolute chaos. You nurture it and treat it with care and then watch it do its baking thing. It somehow helps direct all of the unrelated masses of thoughts in your mind settle into order. There is no better food than food made with love.

Let's sum this entry up. I am tired and scared of wedding planning. I am my own psychiatrist. I hate it when people get ripped off. I have a secret punk rock, radical side to me when it comes to cooking and baking. I also have a heartfelt love for love-food. How multifaceted.

Heard this on the Current the other day.
Does anyone remember Sheena, our old copper Rav4?

P.S. We registered at target yesterday. I've attached a link that will hopefully bring you to our Target registry. You don't have to buy me a bike though. hah.

Any Way You Want It

:never ending squeaks of excitement:

We got it!

We got it!

Summit Manor is all ours on Saturday, June 26th.

It is so official and I am so ready.

This could not have been done without my beautiful mother and amazing father.

Well we have that down, so let's get planning.

I guess this means I have to contact local hotels and figure which one will have the best rates for out-of-town guests. That shouldn't be too hard. I work in the hotel industry now, so I understand all this blocking rooms business. How many should I block? Say 20, just in case we have guests that don't want to drive home?

Just received a call from my soul sister (maid of honor) after I texted the good news. Nothing but screaming "Yay! You're getting married.... at Summit Manor!!!" :laughs: She was at a bus stop too which makes me giggle harder. Too funny. Totally lost my train of thought. hah.

my spider is the cutest of them all!

I now we get to pick out food and start stocking up on booze. It is all coming together. Wow. Everything is so exciting. I need to save save save my monies. It will all be worth it.

Invitations are being creatively built by Micah Kopp still. We should have a clearer idea of what is going on with them in a week or two. Save the dates came in the mail yesterday. Tiny envelopes and stamps are now of the "to purchase" list.

The only things we don't have yet and do not know what to do about it are the officiant (the one we wanted will be at rainbow gathering the last half of the month) and counselling. I hear counselling can benefit (aside from the obvious) by reducing the cost of a marriage license. Will the counselling cost more than the license though? What? How are we even supposed to get an officiant who we have a relationship with now? Maybe one of our friends can become ordained online or something. haha.

I almost forgot to tell an awesome story! So my mom had called the main dude at Summit Manor this weekend. They were on vacation until Monday. Today, my mom received a call back from said main dude. Let's call him David, being that is his name. He is very hesitant about the date, almost in an agonizing, I-have-bad-news-coming sort of way. If you have ever tried planning an event such as a wedding you will know, Saturdays are hard to come by, especially in summer. He checked the date. It was open. I am pretty sure we got one of the last Saturdays in the entire summer! How absolutely killer is that? Way too cool. All the fingers crossed has paid off. Thank you kids!

I am pretty sure Michael and I have the coolest family and friends out there. So many resources and help. I could not have achieved half of this on my own. I just want you to know that your love and amazing support will never be over-looked. My world is full of the most beautiful people.

This is so freakin' cool.

:sigh:

one day at a time.

baby step.

giant, fat baby steps.

This is the only good live video of this song.

You tell me if Eddie Vedder is trying to hard.

Personally I don't care for the dude.

Still it's a good video.