Punk Rocker

I think you may just have to listen to Anxiety by the Ramones for every single post until the wedding.

I am excited for the wedding, don't get me wrong, but there are some things I would rather not complete. It feels like I am back in high school. I have a bunch of addresses I need to input on the mighty guest list at the knot(dot)com as well as write out on envelopes. I have been avoiding it like crazy.

By completing these things, I will see just how many guests we could potentially have. My biggest fear for this wedding is that too many people will show up. We have a max capacity at the venue of 140 guests for the ceremony and 200 for the reception. 130-140 is ideal though, being that it isn't the largest venue in the world. What if we have too many guests? What are we going to do? We can't tell them, "sorry but I'm sure you will find other weddings to go to." This is the one thing I do not have complete control over.

So as I tell myself, I do not have time to do this now, I am really just hiding from the reality of the subject at hand. Why can't I be more brave? I wish I could be one of those kick-ass girls who will tackle anything and get it done, just to get it done. In reality I am the shy girl who is shuffling closer to it, but most times needs her friends to make her "bump into" the issue to really face it. Even by blogging about it, I am procrastinating. Ironic isn't it?

Tonight I am going to buck up and get the courage to get something done. I need to pick up the actual save the dates from my parents place and before I can send them off I need to get a total guest count and a total envelope count. I also need money for stamps but that is doable. So tonight we rock the envelopes. Maybe I just need a little musical accompaniment. I'm thinking the Soviettes are you?

So I looked at hotels in the area. The closest one to the venue is a Holiday Inn. They don't seem like the most reliable of places. They don't block rooms for wedding groups. They just give a discounted rate to guests who say they are attending the wedding. The "discounted" rate is $120 a night for a single King bed and $130 for two queens. And not to mention that they cannot guarantee you a room as it is based on overall room availability. It just sounds weird how uncommitted they are to making this a stress free issue. It's a reasonable hotel but having you kids pay that much per night (and that's the discount rate) is another concern. Just doesn't seem right, but I will look into more options.

They are just your boring hotel rooms.

My mind wants a break from the wedding. I find myself in the kitchen with some contempt for that little purple box of cookies purchased from innocent sweet talking girls.. You know what I am talking about. Those vanilla cookies with a caramel coat, thrown around in some coconut, and sweet chocolate drizzle. Pretty sure that those little bit...bites of heaven are plotting some corruption. I want to get a little radical and punk rock on those cookies. I need to make a vegan batch for myself. I have been plotting my attack for awhile. I lay in bed and contemplate what sort of cookie I should use to match the texture and flavor of the original. I need a vegan caramel recipe that doesn't taste like butts. There is a secret to their chocolate I believe. I remember it being sweeter but darker than milk chocolate. Online recipes for this just won't do. We need something original. I just want to bake, create a batch of deliriously delicious cookies.

If it was about having cookies, I would just go to the co-op and buy some. This isn't the case. There is something so therapeutic about spending time in the kitchen, putting just the right amount of flour and baking soda in, having a risk of getting your hands and hair a mess, and once you create you can fill peoples hearts and stomachs with it. There is order but still risk for absolute chaos. You nurture it and treat it with care and then watch it do its baking thing. It somehow helps direct all of the unrelated masses of thoughts in your mind settle into order. There is no better food than food made with love.

Let's sum this entry up. I am tired and scared of wedding planning. I am my own psychiatrist. I hate it when people get ripped off. I have a secret punk rock, radical side to me when it comes to cooking and baking. I also have a heartfelt love for love-food. How multifaceted.

Heard this on the Current the other day.
Does anyone remember Sheena, our old copper Rav4?

P.S. We registered at target yesterday. I've attached a link that will hopefully bring you to our Target registry. You don't have to buy me a bike though. hah.