Lobotomy

Finally getting around to those envelopes.

I have 67 addressed and 21 without addresses.

Who knows how many more we will add once we get the list of the Stier side of the family.

I'll tell you, they are great pro-creators. ;)

I am trying to figure out what I need to do next.

I have my first dress fitting on the 28th I believe.

I am behind on my deposits. I couldn't figure out why I didn't have the money until I looked at my bill pay. I brilliantly paid my credit card bill two weeks earlier than the due date. I suppose this means I will have more to work with later, but it still frustrates me a little. I tend to sabotage myself with trying to pay my bills early. Oh well.

Since we have registered, I have been dreaming about what our apartment will look like. We need to go apartment hunting once more. It is so exciting to dream about what we will do with it. I especially enjoy the idea of a kitchen to ourselves. Holy goodness, we can create some amazing meals in there.

It is pretty much 5am currently. Why am I wide awake? I am totally a night owl. As much as I appreciate a quiet, cool morning, I am can only as good as a zombie without coffee. I will even bite your head off if you wake me from my slumber. I feel so much more productive in the darkness. I want to call people and make appointments, if only they wouldn't hate me for doing so. I guess I will just sit here and write return addresses on the envelopes and get them ready to send out.

Planning a wedding means looking into your options. Sometimes options just irritate me. Example: Spider and I went to the Wedding Shoppe on Grand to try on bridesmaids dresses. While waiting, which already felt like we were waiting for a prime seat at a fancy restaurant, we took a look around. We glanced at some unity candle sets. Ivory candles with a gold ribbon tied around one of them was $60. Why do people give into this? It isn't going to be any more amazing because it's $60. I would only buy them if it filled the air with glitter and Etta James magically sang At Last. Seriously, why is this even an option?

It hasn't been too hard being modest with expenses. Handmade things take time but they can save so much money. Our save the dates are magnetic business cards and only cost $36 for everything except for the postage. It wasn't the cheapest thing in the world but it's definitely cheaper considering most save the dates are $1.25 per card. Speaking of handmade items, I have developed an amazing plan for the favors. It's a secret though.

I have so many things to do, so many questions to ask, but alas we only have 107 days to get it straight. Where has the time gone?

I appreciate your devotion to read through all of my ridiculous rambles.

I hope the Ramones music makes up for it.

Punk Rocker

I think you may just have to listen to Anxiety by the Ramones for every single post until the wedding.

I am excited for the wedding, don't get me wrong, but there are some things I would rather not complete. It feels like I am back in high school. I have a bunch of addresses I need to input on the mighty guest list at the knot(dot)com as well as write out on envelopes. I have been avoiding it like crazy.

By completing these things, I will see just how many guests we could potentially have. My biggest fear for this wedding is that too many people will show up. We have a max capacity at the venue of 140 guests for the ceremony and 200 for the reception. 130-140 is ideal though, being that it isn't the largest venue in the world. What if we have too many guests? What are we going to do? We can't tell them, "sorry but I'm sure you will find other weddings to go to." This is the one thing I do not have complete control over.

So as I tell myself, I do not have time to do this now, I am really just hiding from the reality of the subject at hand. Why can't I be more brave? I wish I could be one of those kick-ass girls who will tackle anything and get it done, just to get it done. In reality I am the shy girl who is shuffling closer to it, but most times needs her friends to make her "bump into" the issue to really face it. Even by blogging about it, I am procrastinating. Ironic isn't it?

Tonight I am going to buck up and get the courage to get something done. I need to pick up the actual save the dates from my parents place and before I can send them off I need to get a total guest count and a total envelope count. I also need money for stamps but that is doable. So tonight we rock the envelopes. Maybe I just need a little musical accompaniment. I'm thinking the Soviettes are you?

So I looked at hotels in the area. The closest one to the venue is a Holiday Inn. They don't seem like the most reliable of places. They don't block rooms for wedding groups. They just give a discounted rate to guests who say they are attending the wedding. The "discounted" rate is $120 a night for a single King bed and $130 for two queens. And not to mention that they cannot guarantee you a room as it is based on overall room availability. It just sounds weird how uncommitted they are to making this a stress free issue. It's a reasonable hotel but having you kids pay that much per night (and that's the discount rate) is another concern. Just doesn't seem right, but I will look into more options.

They are just your boring hotel rooms.

My mind wants a break from the wedding. I find myself in the kitchen with some contempt for that little purple box of cookies purchased from innocent sweet talking girls.. You know what I am talking about. Those vanilla cookies with a caramel coat, thrown around in some coconut, and sweet chocolate drizzle. Pretty sure that those little bit...bites of heaven are plotting some corruption. I want to get a little radical and punk rock on those cookies. I need to make a vegan batch for myself. I have been plotting my attack for awhile. I lay in bed and contemplate what sort of cookie I should use to match the texture and flavor of the original. I need a vegan caramel recipe that doesn't taste like butts. There is a secret to their chocolate I believe. I remember it being sweeter but darker than milk chocolate. Online recipes for this just won't do. We need something original. I just want to bake, create a batch of deliriously delicious cookies.

If it was about having cookies, I would just go to the co-op and buy some. This isn't the case. There is something so therapeutic about spending time in the kitchen, putting just the right amount of flour and baking soda in, having a risk of getting your hands and hair a mess, and once you create you can fill peoples hearts and stomachs with it. There is order but still risk for absolute chaos. You nurture it and treat it with care and then watch it do its baking thing. It somehow helps direct all of the unrelated masses of thoughts in your mind settle into order. There is no better food than food made with love.

Let's sum this entry up. I am tired and scared of wedding planning. I am my own psychiatrist. I hate it when people get ripped off. I have a secret punk rock, radical side to me when it comes to cooking and baking. I also have a heartfelt love for love-food. How multifaceted.

Heard this on the Current the other day.
Does anyone remember Sheena, our old copper Rav4?

P.S. We registered at target yesterday. I've attached a link that will hopefully bring you to our Target registry. You don't have to buy me a bike though. hah.

Any Way You Want It

:never ending squeaks of excitement:

We got it!

We got it!

Summit Manor is all ours on Saturday, June 26th.

It is so official and I am so ready.

This could not have been done without my beautiful mother and amazing father.

Well we have that down, so let's get planning.

I guess this means I have to contact local hotels and figure which one will have the best rates for out-of-town guests. That shouldn't be too hard. I work in the hotel industry now, so I understand all this blocking rooms business. How many should I block? Say 20, just in case we have guests that don't want to drive home?

Just received a call from my soul sister (maid of honor) after I texted the good news. Nothing but screaming "Yay! You're getting married.... at Summit Manor!!!" :laughs: She was at a bus stop too which makes me giggle harder. Too funny. Totally lost my train of thought. hah.

my spider is the cutest of them all!

I now we get to pick out food and start stocking up on booze. It is all coming together. Wow. Everything is so exciting. I need to save save save my monies. It will all be worth it.

Invitations are being creatively built by Micah Kopp still. We should have a clearer idea of what is going on with them in a week or two. Save the dates came in the mail yesterday. Tiny envelopes and stamps are now of the "to purchase" list.

The only things we don't have yet and do not know what to do about it are the officiant (the one we wanted will be at rainbow gathering the last half of the month) and counselling. I hear counselling can benefit (aside from the obvious) by reducing the cost of a marriage license. Will the counselling cost more than the license though? What? How are we even supposed to get an officiant who we have a relationship with now? Maybe one of our friends can become ordained online or something. haha.

I almost forgot to tell an awesome story! So my mom had called the main dude at Summit Manor this weekend. They were on vacation until Monday. Today, my mom received a call back from said main dude. Let's call him David, being that is his name. He is very hesitant about the date, almost in an agonizing, I-have-bad-news-coming sort of way. If you have ever tried planning an event such as a wedding you will know, Saturdays are hard to come by, especially in summer. He checked the date. It was open. I am pretty sure we got one of the last Saturdays in the entire summer! How absolutely killer is that? Way too cool. All the fingers crossed has paid off. Thank you kids!

I am pretty sure Michael and I have the coolest family and friends out there. So many resources and help. I could not have achieved half of this on my own. I just want you to know that your love and amazing support will never be over-looked. My world is full of the most beautiful people.

This is so freakin' cool.

:sigh:

one day at a time.

baby step.

giant, fat baby steps.

This is the only good live video of this song.

You tell me if Eddie Vedder is trying to hard.

Personally I don't care for the dude.

Still it's a good video.

I Just Wanna Have Something To Do.

Mike and I with half of the Spill Canvas at our second trip to the Warped Tour.

Alright, where did we leave off at? Tax returns? That must be it. I did manage to get my refund back and I have a good amount of money under my belt. So what to do with this money? I am pretty sure I have it figured out. I first paid off two of my credit cards and put a dent in the other two. It feel so odd to say I have four credit cards. Two were useless store cards. I don't really shop much anymore. One was my emergency card and the last is my Tires Plus card. I was so close to paying the Tires Plus one off but about a month ago my brakes were shot. Either way with two cards out of the way, I will have to put less money towards the bills and more towards the wedding.

With all of this I have the spare money to put a deposit in to our wonderful photographer and our heavenly cupcake baker. This will all go down on Friday for sure (Target payday is my safety net). My amazing parents are contacting Summit Manor and if our date is still available the deposit will be put down asap. If not, I do have a few other places in mind. I hope we do not have to view those places but just in case, I am keeping them in mind.

I ordered save the dates! Do you believe it? I actually did something real. :laughs: I got 250 free business cards from vistaprint.com. I only had to pay for the shipping. Now I need ridiculously tiny envelopes or another idea to incorporate them into and send those babies out. That idea sort of stresses me out. Addresses. Ugh.

I have already started working on the invitations and as soon as we have the place we will probably send those out as well. Is it weird if you get an invitation the week after a save the date? :laughs: It probably won't work out that way, but it is a funny idea.

Today really is my first day off in two weeks. I said I wasn't going to do anything. Practically the opposite. I am fully caffeinated and there is much more coffee still waiting to be consumed. I am going the farthest I possibly can with wedding planning today. It probably means my google docs account is going to fill up. I am a list person. Mike makes fun of my lists all the time, but I deserve it. When cleaning the room Mike likes to show me all of the pointless lists I have created. Today is going to be a useful list sort of day.

I am stopping myself right now. I could write a thousand scrolls worth of ridiculous wedding babble, but I will save you from torment. I will keep you posted as things keep coming together. I am excited for this wedding, are you?

Pinhead

Well folks, I filed my taxes.

I should be able to swing a deposit on Summit Manor within the 1st week of the month. I just have my fingers crossed that the 26th of June isn't already booked. You know that would bring us back to square one. There is no way I am ready to go back there. I don't think I could handle searching for a new place, especially since our time to plan is so limited.

What else can I do but wait two weeks? I really have no choice. I continue to work and work and work. There is no end to this game. As sick as it may sound, I wouldn't mind adding a few more shifts to my schedule. Hours=money=wedding.

I feel like such a loser right now. Shouldn't I have this planned? Shouldn't I have this wedding in the bag? Shouldn't I have been able to save up enough by now? I mean, we have been engaged for a year and a half now. I should've, would've, could've. They say "hindsight is 20/20" for a reason though, right.

If you would like to keep your fingers crossed as well, that would be amazing. We can use all the help we can get. Some nights I am so desperate to make this happen I seriously consider baking brownies to sell for the cause. How silly is that? Meh, maybe I will just start giving plasma on my days off.

Okay kids, just a quick update. I need to sleep tonight.

Anxiety.

I love the imperfect pictures like this.
Just feels so perfect.

It is almost Friday again.
This week has flown by.

I have been getting so many compliments on my temporary engagement ring. I would say that is pretty cool considering it only cost me $8 from the silver booth I worked at during the state fair. Definitely an awesome deal.

Not a lot has really changed since the last entry. I am working both jobs and not much more has been done. The hotel job is getting easier as I figure things out. I have a knack for always getting into the weirdest situations there. It really isn't too exciting at all.

Of course, we have valentines day rolling around this weekend. I cannot believe the crap people buy for this holiday. I have to walk through the valentines section every night I close at Starbucks and I am pretty sure I will be blind every time. :laughs: Everything is so pink and terrible. What is wrong with all of this? I am not saying it isn't nice to get flowers or anything, but to make an entire day that is devoted to men getting last minute teddy bears and candy. It just sounds stupid to me. Shouldn't everyday be filled with laughter and love with your, what's the word, lover? So silly and yet there is nothing I can do but sit back and watch the chaos.


There are only two primary things filling my brain lately. Money and planning. They go together like hummus and pitas. One fuels the others progress and I still feel like time is passing too quickly.

To be honest, this planning is really getting to me. I know what I want but cannot get to it unless I make the step to put down the deposits. We need save the dates and invitations. We need to confirm the ceremony/reception venue. We need to give money to the photographer and cupcake lady. We have yet to register, but we are registering through target, and who really wants to be there more than they have to for work? I really cannot let this cause a flare in my anxiety. I am worried that if I keep my cool, I might be too cool and get nothing done until the last moment.

I am planning and hoping to get my w2s this weekend and get my taxes filed away. So I give it two weeks or so until I see a return. My return is going straight to booking our wedding site. From then on we can bring on the wedding planning. I will probably be a bit elusive until then. Maybe I will just fill your head with stories. I certainly have plenty to tell. I just need to keep working and calm down a little. As well as squish my pennies together and save all that I can.


Michael is doing pretty well, as far as I know. He has been working full time still at Target. No word on the promotion yet. He has guitar lessons with an awesome little lady on Thursdays. So when we do see each other, things go well. We make some meals together and talk about ridiculous things.

I can't believe how awesome everything is. Really, I am constantly amazed that I got so lucky. Everything was so perfectly timed between us. I am so blessed to have such an amazing soul mate here. Mostly, I cannot believe he puts up with all of my nonsense.

oh prom. it feels like it was so long ago. why do i feel so old?

I Believe In Miracles

this is how you eat a wonton

Saying you're busy sounds like such a sad excuse sometimes. It is vague and could mean so many things. It simply says you don't have the time you'd like to do whatever you want.

We are very busy lately. Working away. Next week I believe I have a few days off for once. It seems that once we save up some money, something happens. Yesterday, I took a trip to the bank to deal with overdraft fees. One was for being $.10 under with a transfer on the way from my savings. The guy was very unhelpful and pretty demeaning. I am pretty sure I am not an idiot when it comes to my money. At least I hope not. It was a hard day.

I have been in touch with Jay F. Jeweler for the past few weeks. We were going to fully redesign my antique ring and have really amazing rings. I have realized a few things along this process. As you most likely know, we are saving up for the wedding and getting our own place. If Michael is saving up for those as well, what help is another payment process? I would like a new ring. One that reincarnates the antique ring Michael proposed to me with two Decembers ago. It is just a ring though. I have two perfectly good silver rings with czs and getting Michael a simple silver ring will be $20 or less I believe. I would hate to place us in a position where our savings would be minimal.

With all this said, I am going to hold off on getting my ring. I would much rather have an awesome wedding and an amazing home with Michael, before I would get an expensive trinket on my finger. It can be a one year anniversary deal, or even a five year anniversary, I just don't need it now. Spending my life with this boy is so much more valuable than any piece of metal and stone. I can't exactly express in words how much he means to me, but I think some of you may understand

silly geese

Our tattoos will be our version of the ring. :laughs: We are going to get tattoos after the wedding. They will each be the keys to each others hearts. They will be over our sternums. Probably antiques skeleton key in appearance and somehow incorporating the things we love about each other. No names, just forever a key to one anothers hearts.

Ready for story time?
You can take a break if you like.
I hate reading long entries too.
Okay, if you're ready...This is our journey through rings.

It all really started on June 27th. That one year anniversary together was great. We were pretty much homebodies for the evening. We talked about everything possible, including marriage. We were laying on Mike's bed just talking the night away. Mike then rolled off the bed, was on one knee and took a $.25 ring and asked me to marry him. I said yes to this plastic ring with 5 googly eyes looking back at me. It was silly and fun to do, but the way my heart raced at the thought of it being real, wow. On the drive back to my place, it was almost silent. I asked Mike if it felt real to him too. He said yes. This is how we quietly engaged.

A week or two later we took a trip to Duluth together. I believe it was the best week I have ever had. On a day trip to Gooseberry falls, we went to a really dorky tourist shop. He actually had some really cool rings made of steel and cubic zirconia. We each got one and they sort of pretty much matched. With those rings, everybody started asking questions. Oh my goodness, it was so silly.

We admitted to being engaged, but really didn't want to make it official and tell the family until Mike got a real ring. So we sat on our hands and said we would like to get married for six months. That is when our year and a half together came by. Two days after Christmas, we went to the depot for some ice skating. I love ice skating so much. It wore me out and we were hungry. We braved the winds and went along to Kin Dee, a little thai place kitty-corner to the Guthrie theater. We shared a plate and the world's best company. After dinner, Mike suggested we walk along the stone-arch bridge. It was so cold and my brain must have been frozen because I wouldn't agree to it. :laughs:

There we were in the chilled wind, stuffed with food, and tired. We went back to Mike's place after a super long drive. We luckily made it out of Minneapolis, having taking chance turns when we passed our exit. The Beatles were cranked up and I was singing along. Once we made it home, our song came on, and Michael told me, "I can't wait any longer". He got down beside me and had a box with a gorgeous antique ring inside. I was crying immediately. So sappy, so ridiculous. I did manage to get a "yes" out there at some point. You always think about what you are going to do when that someone pops the question. Never in a million years did I see myself crying and confusing the love of my life.

can we say beautiful?

Then we had the ring. We told everyone. To my knowledge everyone was happy for us. It only took me two months to ruin the ring. The prongs were not as strong as we would have liked and have lost two stones. It was such a sad day, and we are hoping to someday reincarnate it through another ring. So for now I have a perfectly good pair of silver rings that will work for the ceremony. How about that.

I have to say, you really just know when you are going to be with someone forever. No doubts, no questions, and no worries. There is no need to rush into things if you know you are going to spend your entire lives together.